Snags

There is this huge hurdle in my quest for romance.
Family.
Now, I don’t mind helping out, and I’m glad that I’m here and able to do it, but shoving 7 people – 5 of them adult-sized – into one 990 square foot home…well, it’s taxing. So much so that Corey is hiding at work. This is putting a little extra strain on me. I have to be in charge of the kids every single day, I don’t get to spend time with my husband, at least not while we’re BOTH conscious. I’m not sleeping well with the extra family squeezed in here because I can’t just drop and take a nap whenever I want. If I try, the kids put something utterly ridiculous (generally MTV) on the tube, or they fight, or they take off. I’m looking forward to having my house back. Corey seems to think that he’s the only one feeling the strain, and that he’s the only one uncomfortable. I love my cousin, and I adore her kids. I wouldn’t mind them living with us if our house wasn’t so dang small. There just isn’t room for everyone. And thus…I look forward to her deciding where she is going to live.

It’s not just the extra people in the house, either.  I just acquired an Arabian/Mustang cross mare.  She’s just about the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, and she’s mine.  She’s not broken, though, so this means twice a day I’m at the barn training her. Don’t get me wrong, I’m loving every minute of it, but it’s a lot of time. Fortunately, I have time after work in the mornings and time in the evenings after Corey goes to work, so it really doesn’t cut into our time.

Finally, Corey’s been working 10+ hours a day, 5 or 6 days a week.  *sigh*

I have to do something about this.

Just a cuddle.

There is definitely something to be said for being so tired that just falling asleep together seems romantic.  Of course, there is the added bonus that I was so cold, and it seemed like he was doing something special just by holding me and warming me up.  And to tell the truth, it WAS special.  There is nobody else that I would want or let wrap their body around mine, and the fact that he made himself uncomfortable just because he knows I don’t like being cold really IS romantic.

New pressures

My cousin left her boyfriend, leaving her and her kids temporarily without a home, so they’re staying with us. I’m sure this will present new challenges to us as we try to bring a little more romance into our lives.

Dear UFC,

Why do your barbaric fight nights have to happen on my ONE DAY A WEEK???

It’s not fair.  I don’t ask for much.  But neither does he.  So, on my one day a week, YOU get him, because I don’t have set plans.  I can’t give him a reason “why not” except that I’m jealous and want that time to myself.

How utterly selfish of me.

Thanks for nothing,

hammie

Dear Husband,

We need to learn how to start making plans together.  I realize that I’m in the habit of martyring myself – “I have to make all the plans for this family because nobody else will and even if they try they don’t do it the way I would”- and I’m going to try to correct that. But, if you aren’t going to help me plan things, and you ask me what plans are, AND I don’t really have anything set in stone, it’s not fair for you to get annoyed that the plans aren’t set in stone.  Also, it’s not fair for you to get annoyed that I’m not aware that there might be something else you might want to do when you’re asking me what I want to do. 

So let’s try this:

Let’s sit down together and lay out the things we would like to do.

If there are things that conflict, let’s weigh out how important or reschedulable they are.

Then let’s put together a plan that suits us both.

I hope this works to make it so feelings get hurt less often and needs are met more often, and we can really enjoy our time together more.

I love you,

Wife

Sedona

My husband likes everything planned. Not that I MIND planning, I actually fully immersed myself and enjoyed the process of planning our vow renewal ceremony. However, I love a degree of spontaneity in my life, and sometimes, I just want to pull off the highway to go check out the little ghost town or water slide park as soon as I see the sign for it.
This does NOT go over well with Corey.
Thus, I offered a compromise – I won’t make sudden random stops if he will start planning things without telling me so that I can enjoy them as spontaneous surprises.
Well, this weekend, he used this technique, and whisked the kids and I away for a weekend in Sedona. I didn’t have to do the planning ( at least not until we got there and decided to stay the night. ON THE SPUR OF THE MOMENT. Which was cool.)
It was absolutely beautiful. It rained most of the time, but it was just warm enough between the 64 degree air temperature and all of our activity that it was actually just about perfect. We explored some of the shops, found a couple of letterboxes (our family hobby), and had an extravagent dinner on Saturday.
On Sunday, it absolutely POURED. I got up early and ran to the local grocery store, got a loaf of bread, some cheese, a summer sausage, and then a 96 oz. portable box-o-brew from Starbucks. I brought it back to our motel room and we had a little feast for breakfast, then hit the road for a good long hike on the Sedona trails. We didn’t find the letterbox we were after, but it was such a beautiful site we wound up on that we really didn’t mind too much.
We headed back into the touristy portion of Sedona, let the teenager spend her allowance on kitsche for her friends, and left with the promise to return, maybe just as a couple, to explore the romantic, fireplace-in-the-hotel-room side of Sedona.

Do you ever get the feeling that you don’t know where you stand?

I try not to complain about the company Corey works for too much because I know it only adds to his stress level.  However, I do NOT like getting put on the back-burner because they want him to work overtime or run their stupid errands.

We both work nights, although his shift is closer to a swing than graveyard.  We have about 2 waking hours together on the days he works.  So yeah.  I get a little uppity and snide about his employer when they cut into what extremely little time we have together!  What right do they have…?  I didn’t even get to eat our usually-rushed dinner with him today.  I told him last night that I was having some pain and thought a massage would help. He said he could take care of that for me.  Then, he wasn’t even here long enough for me to hint at it.

Here’s another area that upsets me about the situation. He didn’t even answer his phone when they called and asked him to run the errand because he was in the shower.  These people are not paying for his cell phone bill.  So why should he have to answer their every beck and call?  This is HIS time!  What if he only had a land-line and wasn’t home when they called?  Why does he feel like he has to call them back every time?

And really…

what it all boils down to…

is:

what about me?